Thursday, November 21, 2002

How about this ?
Malvo's mother Una Jones is appealing her deportation.
Would somebody please tell me where all these friggin' lawyers are coming from ?
Not to mention the money.
Where the hell were all you guys when I was trying to get in here LEGALLY!!!!!
And I came in by car, from a regular country.
I paid beucoup bucks to an immigration lawyer, not to mention the otherr palms along the way, and I was treated like shit.
Don't get me wrong, I love living here, but I came in the RIGHT WAY, and the INS were the rudest they could be to me.
At the time I was getting my papers and green card, they were getting interperters for the Hatian and Cuban illegal aliens, kissing their ass, and treating me like crap.
My point is, do you have to be a fucking loopy to deserve consideration ?
If you don't kill someone, work for a living, and mind your own business, does that mean I am not important enough to get help ?
There is something definitely wrong with this picture.
This thing will be appealed to death, (no pun intended) and the Liberals will have a ball..
Maybe they could get legal advice from the gloved one. Geesh!

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

I am going home now to have some wine.
My mother in law who is 92 years old, and probably one of the finest southern ladies that ever walked, is going to come over.
I just love her to pieces. She is so much fun and loves life more than anyone I know. Her favorite drink is Vodka and grapefruit Twister.She can also drink the lot of us under the table.
We won't hear the dog bark tonight. he he
Hey Alice, Bill, guess what?
I have been offered a job by none other than Don. (my dentist and lifelong pal of my husband)
He has offered more money (a lot) than I make, and I only work 4 days a week.
Dorsey tells me not to even consider this, because it would ruin our friendship.
Please help me separate my greed from reality.
You want to talk about neighbours ?
I have a psycho, split personality on one side, and on the other side, well, you decide.
One woman moves in, next thing we know is there are a lot of nephew type "visitors" spending the night.
The bags I have under my eyes are from lack of sleep, because they have a dog that they leave out all the time and it constantly barks. (in suround sound)
There are so many cars parked on their front yard, (does this scream trailer park or what?) that you would have to be superman with xray vision to back your car out of our driveway.
I imagine very soon we will be having a serious "Come to Jesus" with these people.
Oh, and while I'm at it...I am the only person in Virginia Beach that knows how to drive.

Tuesday, November 19, 2002

Hmmmmm........I am wondering if Bill forbade Alice to visit my website.
Ok, so Dorsey doesn't understand blog.
Actually, anything that doesn't have football or large breasts on it doesn't interest him either.
Last nite he overheard me talking to Bill about his blog that day and said "Y'all ain't writin' nothing but porn."
Bill and I about died laughing, but Dorsey did not think it was very funny.
Understand this. Anything that doesn't directly affect Dorsey is not important.
I am sure he is jealous of anything that takes my time from him, even if it's in my mind.
I love him because Dorsey is just Dorsey, one of a kind, broke the mold Dorsey.
He can be the sweetest person in the world, but he can also be Damien.
Take it from me, I have been married 5 times.
It is better to live with the devil you know, than the devil you don't know.
Let's see, why would she get married 5 times?
a) She's on drugs
b) She's on drugs
c) She's on drugs
d) all of the above
I talked to Bill and Alice last nite and they are terrified.
Are they terrified of the future of the world? No.
They are terrified of my big mouth.
Not that I would ever dream of telling tales out of school.
And just because now I feel empowered by this medium to speak out and embarass friends and family, it doesn't mean I actually intend to do it.
I have plenty of Dorsey's friends to start with before I get to you. he he he
Relax you guys, today I am going to show you how big I am by poking fun at myself. Maybe a little at Dorsey. I can't help myself.
Need to say thanks to Rachel, Michele, Ralph, Melissa, and Tart for making me feel welcome. And thanks to all that have visited my site and were amused.
I don't mean to be morbid, but I had a very dear friend of mine Karen die of lupus about 8 years ago.
She said my purpose in life was to make people laugh. I had lost my purpose for a few years.
Thanks to my family and good friends I have found that quality again.
Karen was a kind soul, and always said "Your friends are the ones that know you, but like you anyway."
Both of my parents have passed on also, but both had a great sense of humor and passed it on to me.
And Rachel, my mother and I could talk about anything. She was an absolute riot, a person you could confide in, quick witted, intelligent and beautiful.
Her quotes are priceless. I intend to write about her a lot.
I loved my father too, but he was a tortured soul, had a hard time choosing the right path.
This site is dedicated to everyone that helped me be the person I am today.

Monday, November 18, 2002

I found this just for you Bill. he he he.
Did I mention Bill is my son in law?
Did I mention that he has a blog called Bloviating Inanities?
Did I mention that the next time I see him I am going to fart on him and piss in his eye?
Don't make me get up Bill.
This is my first try at this, so forgive me if I make stupid mistakes.
I want this to be a place to speak out and say whatever.
I know today is not the most interesting day, but give it time.
We may luck out, Dorsey might to something stupid to piss me off tonight, and we can talk about that, or we have that Prozac neighbor next store, the dog could chew up my underwear again, or my 24 year old sweet Julee could have a fist fight with her boyfriend during their vacation in Hawaii, and catch the next plane back home.
I forgot to mention we live in Virginia Beach.
My son in law helped me with this so he will be pleased that I posted today.
I need your help Bill on a couple more things though.
I will be on later if something good happens, otherwise see you in the a.m.
This is my real name and I can prove it, so I don't want to have 5 million of Madonna's lawyers trying to sue me for using my own name.
I love to write, I love to read.
I am a Canadian transplant, and have been here in the U.S. for about 15 years.
I am married, to (you ain't just whistling Dixie) Dorsey Pender who is the great grandson of General William Dorsey Pender and I refuse to say anything nice about Dorsey today, he is being a poop.
I love him despite of his shortcomings.
I have 3 beautiful children, all girls, 29,24, and 12.
My name is Madonna, not to be confused with the other Madonna.

Sunday, November 17, 2002

Yes, My Husband's Really Old

But at least he's not this guy.

And I have a cute puppy.

He's a crap factory

More tomorrow.